If you believe in evolution, do you believe in de-evolution?
I had this idea about a week or so ago while I was hitting the crack pipe pretty hard. By crack pipe, I mean hanging out with my friends. I have been giving this idea quite a bit of thought and it leads to some interesting conclusions regarding this whole evolution versus religion bullshit. Hopefully these words will never be used as ammunition for the religion side of the argument (Jesus doesn’t need my help after all) but fair is fair, if religion turns out to be correct, I will admit defeat. Then promptly choose to exit this planet via cannon or trampoline.
So I have a question for those of you who believe in evolution. Evolution as we know it, gives us the tools to survive in our environment. Take the butterflies for instance; they were white when they lived in snowy climates then they turned black when a volcano erupted. I don’t know the facts about that one, but that’s irrelevant. The point is, predators have heightened senses because if they didn’t they wouldn’t be able to survive. Human beings on the other hand have heightened intellect, because we do not have heightened senses.
Lets compare bears and humans in the winter. Why do bears hibernate? Otherwise they would die. Food is scarce, it’s cold, they’re weak. So they automatically know that they need to store up food, lower their energy output, and sleep away winter. At one point in time there were two types of bears: those who hibernated and those who did not. I think we all know which ones made it. Now then, humans do not hibernate. Sure we might get more sleepy and we might pack on a few pounds, but we don’t hibernate like bears do. And why not? Well because human intelligence has given us the tools and known-how to remain active and alive during winter. With me so far? Good because here comes the big question.
If we evolved to survive through our intellect, is it possible for us to CHOOSE to evolve through other means? Here’s what I mean. Imagine the first human being who discovered fire or the wheel or crude tools. What if that human being had said: “Nah, I don’t want to go down this road. Nevermind.” If human beings never used these tools, would they have died out or would they have perhaps evolved to have fur, claws, better vision at night, etc. Whether consciously or not, human beings chose to use their intellect to their advantage, but that means they can choose not too.
It would be an interesting (and highly unethical and immoral) experiment to see what would happen to a human culture that chose to not have access to or make anything outside of the body. Meaning they would make the conscious decision not to ever use any sort of tools or clothing. After a few generations, would these human beings evolve to have tougher skin, more fur, or sharper teeth and claws? Would they be able to see better in the dark and have other heightened senses when compared to your average human?
In other words: would evolution turn a human being back into what we currently consider an animal?
The implications there would be pretty extreme as it would provide pretty strong credit to the theory of evolution. If a human being can de-evolve into an animal, then they can evolve from one.
PS: I’m starting up an experiment, any volunteers?
Chivalry and Violence: Part I
The next few topics are all going to revolve around a common theme. I aim to address the theme of chivalry and it’s presence (or possible lack thereof) in today’s society. First comes the task of defining chivalry. Many seem to think it’s acting like a gentleman or holding the door open for a lady. That’s not how I see it. I see chivalry as a code of conduct, a moral compass if you will. As such chivalry is not only for men (how sexist would that be)? However, I will mainly speak about chivalry from the male perspective as that is what I’m more familiar with. As of my last shower checkup, I’m still currently a man.
The topic I would like to address today is: When is it okay for a man to hit a woman?
According to my moral compass, the short answer is, never.
This has nothing to do with men being stronger or women being fragile. That’s all hypocritical bullshit. As far as I can tell, 90% of the women I know can kick my ass. Then again, 90% of the men I know can do the same. Still, I’ll hit a guy, but I won’t hit a girl. I think many women think it is some kind of machismo “protector” role that men take, but that isn’t it either. The reason that I won’t hit a women has nothing to do with my role as a “protector”; it is because of my role as a provider.
Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I want to be a provider for my family. Now that isn’t to say that I want my significant other to be at home, raisin’ the chillin’s, and doing the laundry, although I’m all for that. It’s actually very different. The reason why I want to be a provider is because if you’re able to provide for someone else, you can provide for yourself. Only an idiot (in this man’s humble opinion) would provide for another without being able to provide for him or herself. Think about airplanes, you put the oxygen mask on yourself before you put it in your kid. That’s because if you can’t save yourself, you can’t save the kid. Thus if I’m providing for my family, that means that I am able to provide for myself and share my extra provisions, as it were, with them.
I think that’s a pretty good way to live.
So why would me as a provider be adamant against hitting a woman? Simple, I don’t want to be a tyrant. The only thing worse than having someone provide for you, is to then be mistreated by that person. How miserable would the child in the airplane be if they would get the oxygen mask and then get slapped around. That’s how someone becomes broken into hopelessness and despair. Knowing that you depend on a tyrant must be on of the worst feelings. As I have no sadistic intentions in this department, it makes absolutely no sense to me to provide for someone and then physically harm them.
So because I hold myself to that standard, I will never hit a woman.
Although that’s not to say that I don’t sometimes want to shake sense into them. Crazy bitches.
If you’re politically correct…
You’re a racist, hypocritical bigot. There’s just no other logical outcome. You cannot say a sentence in the English language that could not be twisted to sound politically incorrect. Have you ever said “goodbye” to somebody? Well that’s extremely insensitive of you. According to this website and this website, “goodbye” was originally a contraction of “God be with you (ye).” Well that’s mighty presumptuous of you that the person you are talking to believes in God or even believes in only one God. Considering the majority of the world is polytheistic, it would actually be more appropriate for you to never say goodbye to anyone ever again, presumptuous asshole.
So tell me something. Why is “dick” okay but “cunt” is a tragedy of epic proportions? I’ll tell you why, because you think these words are not equal. So vulgar terminology for women is worse than vulgar terminology for men? Well if vulgar terminology = vulgar terminology then the only logical explanation is that men and women are not equal. Now who’s the sexist?
Do you know what it means to be equal? That means that you are not worse NOR better in comparison. Women are not worse nor better than men and Christians are not worse nor better than Jews. Homosexuals are not worse nor better than heterosexuals and cunts are no worse or better than dicks, assholes, or twats.
For that reason I will continue to make fun of Jews, Russians, Mexicans, homosexuals, and bit.. errr women.
And it’s for that reason I don’t buy into that whole “you can’t say some words” nonsense. Now if someone is offended by a word, then sure it’s respectful to not say it in front of them. However, if you want to tell me that I cannot say the “c-word” because I wasn’t born a woman, you’re a sexist. If you say I can’t say the “n-word” because I wasn’t born black, you’re a racist.
So please, next time you get offended by what someone says ask yourself: ”Why am I a bigot?”
I’m just sayin’.
This should answer some of your questions..
This was sent to me by a good friend who wanted to check the validity of this exchange. I will answer his question after I feed my four cats.
PS: Fuck life coaches.
The manifestation of homophobia..
Some of you may find this comparison very informative. This is brought to you by the fine sexy pants over at the Oatmeal. Keep on keepin’ on.
I could see into the future…
Hey all! I’ve decided to provide you all with a little clip of one of my favorite comedians. I recently saw him performing at Stand Up Live and the show was amazing! You know it’s a great show when it starts an hour late. That’s not sarcasm by the way. Unlike Pitbull who decided to start his concert like three hours late, Ralphie May put in the effort. A normal headliner goes on stage for anywhere between 60-90 minutes usually; Ralphie did 120 easy. That time went by blink of an eye. So without further idolizing, here is one of my favorite clips of Ralphie May.
Those of you paying attention to the lineup at Stand Up Live will see that Gabriel Iglesias is coming up in two weeks. Mr. Hot and Fluffy is coming to Phoenix!
Here’s how you stay classy
You want to be a classy mofo? Well here is your one and only chance! This is guaranteed to make you the coolest man in existence. It’s people like this that make tattoos look bad.
It’s people like this that make me wish tattoos were indeed 100% permanent. At some point, your stupidity should be tattooed onto your body.
They need a part two…
Hmm this video makes me think of a pretty interesting poll. I think I’ll add it now. This is a great parody though, some of the rhymes are kind of weak, but I’ll let it slide.
I can think of a few guys that this might be targeted for.
PS: Not to “blame” the “victim” or anything, but if bitches add strangers as a friend, they deserve whatever stalking they get. IT WOULDN’T HAPPEN IF YOU DIDN’T DRESS THAT WAY!
PPS: That was a joke. Ladies put the knife down unless you’re not done making my sandwich.
PPPS: Fuck.
Thor: uncut
Was just sent some good stuff and it’s been amusing me so I thought I’d share. I don’t know if it’s just one guy or a team or what not, but the fine folk(s) at How It Should Have Ended (HISHE) are onto something good here. Keep up the good work!
Hey-ooooo!
Awkward family pet photo…
This is one of those, “when you see it, you lose your faith in humanity” type of picture. It’s a VERY specific type of picture mind you. I think a fun trick will be to figure out what State of the Unio… err country this picture took place. My bet is it’s somewhere between Alabama and You-Got-A-Perdy-Mouth. Mmmm, I bet they have themselves a knee-slapping hodown at the extended family grill. Bring your husbands and your wives, we made custom placemats! It was easy as they all had the same last name.
After looking at this picture for some time, I have a few thoughts:
- I didn’t know Cletus the slack-jawed yokel had a family.
- Kid on the far right is about to drop one hell of a log.
- Why the fuck do you have kittens in your pocket?
- Dude in blue and red needs to lay off the Ganja.
- What the hell are they even looking at? A child molester with a kitten fetish?
